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Part Four: Writing the Conclusion

Emiliano Figueroa
2003 BA English, Stanford University
Posted May 3rd 2003

          Now that you've reached the conclusion you're on the homestretch. The conclusion is without a doubt the easiest part of your essay, assuming you've done a good job on the rest of the essay. But that's no reason to relax now. The most common mistake that a writer can make in the conclusion is to relax and simply reword the introduction.
          While it is true that you want to restate your introductory paragraph to a degree, that's not necessarily enough. If all you do is rearrange some words from your intro, you run the risk of your essay reading stilted and flat. The essay will seem to come to an abrupt stop.
          So how can we avoid this? Before you can put the frosting on your conclusion, you need to make sure the rest of the ingredients are there. First and foremost, you need to restate your thesis. As with the intro, you need to write it declaratively and forcefully, as if it's a Newtonian Law.
          You should also spend a sentence or so (or even more if it's a longer paper) going over the major points of your essay. However, the more you can avoid simply listing them, the smoother your paper will flow. And this is where your transition into your intro is important. By the end of your last body paragraph, you should really be thinking about where you're going, and how you're going to transition into your conclusion. In light of this, I recommend not putting off your conclusion and writing it separately at a later time. If you're in the "writing flow," you should keep riding the wave of the your pen's momentum and go straight into the conclusion.
          Let's look at two separate examples again. This first one will illustrate a more sophomoric conclusion, one that's not necessarily bad, but one that's formulaic and stilted. In short, its just the introduction in a different verbal dress. Do you remember the sample paragraph from the "body paragraph" tutorial, in which it talked about how cats never get lost, and the SPCA study that proved it? Well, let's just say that the conclusion came immediately after that. Here's what a less sophisticated paragraph would look like:

So as we have seen, cats never get lost. They also are extremely hygienic. They bathe themselves, and bury their own feces. Clearly then, cats are smarter than dogs.

There's really nothing wrong with this paragraph, except that it's enough to send an insomniac the way of Rip Van Winkle. Translation: it's boring. Let's go after these problems one by one. First of all, the transition is cliché and forced. Avoid cliche transitions that begin with "As we have seen," or "In conclusion." Also, the summation of the essay's major points is artificial. And last, and most importantly, even though the thesis is present, there's no sense of a grander implication.
          In other words, nothing answers the reader's question "ok, so cats are smarter than dogs ... so what? Why should I care?" The way in which a conclusion differs from an introduction is in that it leads the reader to a grander implication. It tells the reader WHY the thesis matters, why it's important enough to write a paper to support the thesis. So let's rewrite the paragraph above (and remember, this follows the "cats have a better sense of direction paragraph"):

The Alaskan SPCA study is but a chapter in the line of evidence for feline intelligence that could itself stretch from the Alaskan Pipeline to the California redwoods. Whether traversing the tundra, or combing their whiteish fur, cats show a level of independence and self-determination that a mutt could never match. When it comes to intelligence, dogs are simply outclassed by cats. A dog may be a man's best friend, but a cat will never defecate on your kitchen floor. Unless you want to do some heavy cleaning in the future, pass up the dog and go with the cat.

          Ok, so it's not Shakespeare, but you get the point. Give your reader a reason to care. Of course this becomes a bit more difficult if you yourself don't care. Let's say you finished that paper about feminist representations of knightly Slavic women of the dark ages. You probably don't care yourself. At this point, no matter how horrible it sounds, just BS it. Find some plausible reason for the value of this literature, and go with it. Just pick a point and get to it.
          If you've gotten this far and heeded all the suggestions, make sure you do one last thing: SPELL CHECK!!!!! Don't ruin an otherwise capable paper with undue sloppiness. Good luck, and good writing!

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