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Part Two of the Coshe Guide to Essay Writing

continue to Part Three: Writing the Body Paragraphs

The Introduction
Emiliano Figueroa
2003 BA English, Stanford University
Posted April 24th 2003

            So let's write the paper.  Advanced writers at least intuitively know the following:  a teacher or professor, by the time he/she has read your opening paragraph, has for the most part decided on your grade.  Whether they like to admit it or not, by the time they read through the last sentence of your introduction, your paper has already been relegated to a B, C, A or whatever.
            The opening paragraph is of paramount importance.  Whether in the classroom or on a first date, nothing lasts like a first impression.  The introductory paragraph is easily the most critical part of your essay.  A stellar opening can buoy a shoddy essay, and a lacking intro can cripple an otherwise capable paper.
            There are certain fundamental skills that go into writing an introduction.  First you need what in movies is called a 'hook,'  an attention-getter.  A zinger of a first sentence.  If you don't engage your reader at the outset, you'll have a hard time reeling him in later, much less retaining him.  You can do this in many ways.  You can use a quote, an obscure fact, a question, or some ingenious opening sentence that smacks of relevant cleverness.  Each has its advantages and disadvantages.  A quote can lend some eloquence to your paper and can start it on a good note.  However, this has two drawbacks.  It opens the paper in a voice that isn't yours, and you lose some ownership and authority.  Also, it may lend TOO much eloquence to the paper.  For example, if you open with a quote from Benjamin Franklin, the eloquence of his quote might be too overbearing if you're not an especially eloquent writer yourself.  A question is an easy way to open, especially if the answer to the question leads directly into your thesis.  However, this is a more novice technique, and will look less and less sophisticated as you get to higher levels of education.  An obscure, interesting fact, if relevant to your paper, can do much to engage a reader.  However, if handled incorrectly (i.e. ' Did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?), the technique can appear forced, immature, or formulaic.
            In my opinion, the most sophisticated, and ultimately most powerful technique, is to open with a sophisticated voice that is your own.  Content-wise, it should contain an original idea, or a lead-in to the subject.  In a sense, it should encapsulate the above mentioned techniques without falling into the realm of any one exclusively.  This is easier said than done, and eventually comes with practice.  The best way to learn this is just to read examples of good essays.  Read movie reviews, music reviews, and just contemporary critical works by capable writers.  Even in such commercial venues, the good writers exhibit this skill.  The intro to this entire tutorial, though not a spectacular intro, is a decent example of this.
            The most common flaw that writers commit in an introductory sentence is that they go on TOO LONG!  You aren't writing the Constitution, so don't write a long preamble.  The quicker you can get to your thesis the better.  If you're three sentences into your intro and you haven't reached your thesis, you're in trouble.  So stay out of trouble.
            And when you write your thesis, write it strongly.  It should be a firm declarative sentence.  It should sound like an absolute truth.  It should sound like it belongs in the Ten Commandments. 'Though shalt not kill, ' Thou shalt not steal, ' Cats are smarter than dogs ' PERIOD!'  You can do a few things toward this end.  First, if you can start the sentence with A, An, or The, you create a more authoritarian tone.  Also, stray from introductory clauses of any kind ('Contrary to popular belief '').  Mechanically, the more you can stick to the basic subject-verb construction, the more authority you will convey.  As with everything, rules are meant to be broken in the face of better alternatives.  Good writers can bend these rules to their advantage, but for the most part these are good guidelines.
            Once you've established your thesis you have a few options.  If you're in high school, you might have to be more explicit and formulaic in your writing.  For example, in the standard five paragraph essay, the formula demands that you list your main points of argument thereafter.  In high school, this may be fine, but as you advance through college, this becomes very sophomoric.  It may be better to merely segueway into the main points with a sentence that alludes to the contents of the body.  For example, this paragraph, in five paragraph essay form:
 

     Between dogs who chase their tails and cats who get stuck in trees, it may seem like neither species is very intelligent.  Cats, however, are inordinately smarter than dogs.  Cats make sure to bathe themselves.  Also, cats clean up after themselves after they poop.  And cats never get lost.

Silliness aside, this isn't a bad intro, but it's very stilted.  And it is going to be difficult to transition from that into your first body paragraph, which would describe how cats bathe themselves (I didn't even try to add a final transition sentence).  But if we change the intro to:

     Between dogs who chase their tails and cats who get stuck in trees, it may seem like neither species is very intelligent.  Cats, however, are inordinately smarter than dogs.  From sense of direction to self hygiene, cats posses a higher level of independence.

Do you see the difference?  From this, it's easier to flow into a paragraph about cat cleanliness.  It also reads more naturally, and less robotic.  The first intro is appropriate for high school, but to be a successful college writer, you need to develop a CRITICAL style that reads as naturally as NARRATIVE.

So now we've got the intro down.  If it's good, you just came nearer to cementing your grade.  So let's follow through and keep writing.

continue to Part Three: Writing the Body Paragraphs

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